In a shocking, exclusive expose, The Harvard Scarlet & Mauve revealed that Kaavya Viswanathan has not plagiarised from any of these books: Lolita, Thomas the Tank Engine, The Ruhnama, Gulliver’s Travels or, indeed, the classic text Chemistry: A Practical Handbook.
Initially her publishers said that the omissions would be corrected in a second, more inclusive edition of the book, until a journalist pointed out that Opal Mehta had been officially pulled from bookstores. A representative of the New York book packaging agency, however, said that the lack of unconscious borrowings across several prominent literary genres was regrettable, and that it might be rectified–but by another author. She refused to confirm that the agency had its eye on a young Columbia sophomore this time, but admitted that discussions had stalled “for technical reasons”. “We have worked out the packaging fees successfully,” she said, “but there’s an additional charge for author giftwrapping, and we hope to work that out amicably.”
Meanwhile, the estate of the late Barbara Cartland said it was considering suing the young and unfortunately discredited genius. “Dame Cartland was the pioneer of romantic fiction; you might even call her the Mother of Chick Lit. We are disappointed, dismayed and distressed to see that this young author did not internalise a single line of her work: not even a few ellipses…” said a legal representative.

Coming up: “Kaavya stole my name!” cries Ruby Mehtab. But is Ruby truly the original for Opal Mehta… or does that distinction belong to–Pearl Mehra? Find out in further episodes of the KV saga, sponsored by Cryptomnesia Inc.

And courtesy The New York Times, a look at how closely J Kenney’s The Great Gatsby might resemble The Great Gatsby:

MR. KING Are there similarities between your new novel, “The Great Gatsby” and “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald?

MR. KENNEY Not so much “similarities.” They’re actually identical.

MR. KING I see.

MR. KENNEY Except for my name as author…